And So It Begins

I’M FREE!

If you had been walking down Yonge & Eglinton on July 31, 2008, you would’ve heard me shout that repeatedly on my way home after my last day as a corporate pleb. On the outside I was thrilled, but on the inside I felt mixed emotions. Even though I would have rather gnawed my own arm off and beat myself with it than stay at that job one day longer, I will miss the people that I have made such close connections with. I will miss the morning coffee walks, I will miss my softball team (although I really wasn’t good enough for them to miss me), I will miss the after work socials and I will miss being able to walk to work.

Maybe I needed this in order to realize that the business world is not for me. Maybe I will need this trip in order to realize that maybe it really is. I have no idea what the next few years in my life have in store and that makes me excited! There are no more plans, no more set expectations, no more guidelines on how to live your life! Does being this independent mean I am truly a grown up now? Or does that mean that I’ve actually never grown up and am still living in the mindset of an 18 year old? Either way, it doesn’t matter. The beige walls of the 3 paneled cubicle are no longer closing in around me, and I am no longer finding myself being put to sleep by the eerie buzz of my computer screen.

There is one thing, however, that I am finding the most difficult to part with. LACK OF FUNDS! That magical paycheck that appeared in my bank account every 2 weeks is no longer in existence. I find that I now have to consciously think about that extra non-fat vanilla latte, that movie that I don’t necessarily have to see and those jeans that I already have enough of.

I have officially closed one chapter in my life to start another. However, before I can do that, the reality of moving back into my childhood home still needs to settle. Being in Dundas this past weekend, and waking up on my single bed in my tiny room felt like a nightmare. There are perks however – breakfast in the mornings via mother, access to a vehicle at all times and not having to rely on the Toronto Transit System, knowing almost every single person in town and CABLE! (A luxury when you’re living in downtown Toronto).

August 10th, 2008 – my official move date back to Dundas, Ontario. I have yet to start packing. It’s amazing the amount of things you can fit in a 600 sq. foot apartment. It’s amazing the amount of things you didn’t even know you had in a 600 sq. foot apartment! Everyday a new drawer of some sort is opened to reveal something new. It’s like your birthday everyday! Except most of these things are completely useless, however, you still feel a need to hang on to them regardless of the fact that you forgot they even existed over this past year.

So freedom is just around the corner. I just have to dig my out of my apartment to get there first.

A Love Letter

Travel?

Are you there? Can you hear me?

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry I’ve called you all those bad names – like expensive and lonely. I really didn’t mean it. I just wanted to let you know that I love you and that I can’t live without you.

As the days pass by my love for you continues to grow. We have spent many days together, both laughing and crying. You have always welcomed me with open arms and accepted my differences. You are the one I dream about.

I thought after I left you would fade away from my mind, but still everyday I think of our time together. I need you and I miss you when you’re gone. You are always in my mind and in my heart no matter the distance between us.

It’s been so long since we’ve reconnected. But I’m telling you now that the wait is over; I am ready to become a part of your life again just like you have always been a part of mine.

I promise to always love you.

Q: Does a traveler ever feel at “home” in any one place? Or are they always seeking the next adventure and reminiscing about the others?

Don’t Get Fired!

“We travel not to escape life, but for life not to escape us.”

in·spired
–adjective
1. aroused, animated, or imbued with the spirit to do something, by or as if by supernatural or divine influence
2. something of which I am not

Not by my current situation at least.

I have always been more of an “out the box” thinker. A “to-do” list always seemed to start well and fail, as I would never look at the page again after writing it. Class lecture notes inevitably had more scribbles and doodles on them than actual notes. My mind was always racing, always thinking. How could I escape “to-do” lists and not have to rely on anyones notes but my own? The answer was right there. Quit your job.

So I did.

Senioritis is apparently developed by showcasing a lack of motivation toward studies displayed by students who are nearing the end of their high school careers. Or in my case – my full-time career. Although I have already put in my notice of resignation it does not mean I am immune from being fired on the spot, without notice, without my 2 weeks, without being able to say my goodbyes. This is something I am trying to avoid, but as the days count down it is getting increasingly difficult. Today’s schedule consisted of the following: stroll in late, get a coffee, run into VP who knows you are currently playing hooky from a mandatory meeting, surf other travel blogs, send out a few work emails, conduct phone interview with my movie store manager (see: The Beginning of the End July 2008), answer another million questions about my decision to move abroad and try to prove to everyone around me that I am not experiencing a temporary episode of insanity. Whew. All in a days work.

There was once a time in which I wanted nothing more but to prove myself in the working world. Being a woman in business in tough. Don’t let anyone try to fool you by saying that equal opportunities are awarded now. Lies. Women still must work harder to earn respect. Maybe, that’s where my priorities changed. I was tired of trying to prove myself. Why can’t I just be satisfied in knowing that I AM good enough? At the end of the day I don’t want to wake up and think, “I made Company XYZ $1M!….now what?”

Instead, I want nothing more than to wake up in the morning, cuddle with my big stuffed red elephant (conveniently named Red Elephant), and not have to think anymore about that job that just doesn’t seem to want to end.

Q: Have you ever thought about switching career paths? What has stopped you?

P.S. I will be leaving questions related to my blog at the end of each posting. Feel free to post comments and discuss. I promise I’m not snobby and will read and try to respond to all of you.