These (High Heeled) Boots Are Gonna Walk All Over You. Seriously.

8 09 2008

I will be pre-dating these posts to the date I wrote them, as I do not have computer access everyday I’m in Russia.

First, let me start of with a glance at the KLM airline.  Although I have been on many planes, I have never been on one with my own personal tv.  Reason for this being that I usually flew Zoom and similar.  We all know what happened there this past week.  No wonder they couldnt afford tvs!

I found that the KLM staff were not entirely friendly.  At the checkin the lady informed us that we were only allowed 2 peices of carry on luggage.  One being our small carry on suitcases and a purse.  Well that all fine, except that I also had a small backpack and my mom had a small duffel bag.  We ended up condesing everything with much effort in the end. However, at the boarding gate there were multiple…let me emphasize MULTIPLE….individuals with way more than what we had even originally brought with us being let through! Bah.  My mothers terror of our luggage being lost and not checking anything in was frustrating!

Aboard the flight was alright.  As expected.  Food was rice and chicken with a cous cous salad.  Movies were great since I got to choose my own.  I was unfortunately stuck in the middle seat, beside an “elbower.” Although, I cant blame him.  He was a very large, 6’4″ African American man.  Very sweet and soft spoken actually. (He helped me with aforementioned personal tv – although I felt very uncomfortable sitting beside him during the multiple nude sex scenes during my “Sex and the City” movie).

We landed at our connection destination, Amsterdam, and got herded into this little tiny boarding gate with the other passengers.  It was hot.  Very hot.  As the KLM man took my boarding pass, he also said my bad was too big (it weight 11.5 kg) and had to be checked in.  Our conversation went something like this:

Me: Even though I already had in the cabin baggage in the previous flight?

Him: Yes.

Me: Even though it says “pre-approved cabin baggage on the bright yellow sticker stuck to it?

Him: Yes.

Me: Even though my mom just went through with the exact same size bag?

Him: Yes. Mam, can you please step aside? I need to continue doing my job.

Me: Oh.

Did I have locks? No. Uh Oh.  Thanfully, it got back into my awaiting hands safe and sound and unscathed.  I cant really say anything about the 2nd flight as I slept throught it all.  All I know is that the plane was much smaller, with no tv’s and we received salad with a desert of some kind.  I still have it actually. Gross.

Anyhoo, we’re in St. Petersburg now.

OBSERVATIONS:

  • The mullet is in! And its EVERYWHERE!  Either they are really behind the times, or North American is missing this craze.  I hope we never catch up.  Maybe they are trying to rival our “fohawk.”
  • If you dont have heels, you’re a give away as a foreigener.  Also, if they don’t glitter or aren’t sprinkled with animal print, you’re also a foreigener. (I was clearly a foreigener in my spandex lululemon pants, and white Puma’s.)
  • Hell roughly translates to to “rush hour at the metro station” in Russian.  Imagine a bug on a windshield.  Now picture my face and the subway train doors.  Not pretty, eh? Bless the Toronto Tranist System.
  • You need glittery, goddy make up to compliment the high heels.  My black mascara isnt cutting it here.  I need to step up my game.
  • Lack of tourists.  Where’d they go? Is it the VISA requirements? Did we scare them away? We’re not communist anymore! We’re nice people, I swear!

I’m excited to actually see the city tomorrow.  Aside from metro station and airport that is.  OH! I almost forgot! For my loyal TORONTO readers, they have the METRO paper here too! Crazy business that is!  I wonder if its worldwide.  I’m getting my walking shoes out for tomorrow.  The black sneakers perhaps, so that I look more inconspicuous.  Besides, its my birthday tomorrow, so it’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to.

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